Tuesday, September 27, 2011


*reading report from regular ed teacher while going over daily report with student*

me: "Smiley, smiley, smiley . . . whoa. A frown for not using nice words?
student: "There's a note."
me: "(Name) threatened to cut another student's head off when she sat in his seat? (Name,) what?"
student: "OBVIOUSLY, I was kidding. I didn't even have a machete."

Thursday, September 15, 2011

dear (blank)

Questions end in question marks, not seven exclamation points. Also, please don't crowd-source answers over e-mail for questions that A) I already answered and B) any veto to my answer could only be made by my boss. Finally, please proofread.

P.S. - The all-staff distribution list is not a toy.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

i teach kids. . .

I teach kids . . .
who hide under the small group table
who memorize train schedules
who run out of the school towards the road
who call each other "dude"
who kick your knees as you hold them back from hurting someone
who give awesome hugs
who cry for hours on end
who get endless giggles
who are starfish experts
who will eat anything
who pull off my glasses and throw them
who exclaim, "I love you, Miss Eye!"
who meltdown when they misspell a word
who run to me every morning
who hit me (and their friends)
who rush to comfort a friend in crisis
who bite my arms and pull my hair
who help me clean up someone else's mess
who proclaim, "I love your class!"
who throw chairs and scissors
who ask me to eat with them at lunch
who scream while trying to stand on my shoulders as I attempt to do storytime
who ask, "I don't do stuff wrong?"
who kick and punch
who have monsters bigger than they are
who say they missed me
who make me want to be at work